


A Not So Typical Night

by WheeinOrOut



Category: Atypical (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2020-10-11 04:00:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20539763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WheeinOrOut/pseuds/WheeinOrOut
Summary: Set right after the intense hand holding scene in the Season 2 finale. Incl.  fluff and the beginnings of some pretty angsty and intense feelings.





	1. Chapter 1

Izzie watched as Casey's thumb hovered over her vibrating phone, then let out a small, shaky breath when the girl chose to ignore Evan's call. She tried not to show it, especially since their hands were still tightly linked, but Izzie was ridiculously giddy. She couldn't help it. She was in Casey's car, holding Casey's hand, and watching her choose her over her boyfriend. Her heart was pounding against her ribcage so hard she was sure the bones would shatter at any moment. She took another sip from her slurpee and licked her lips. The silence was killing her, but she'd happily take death over the possibility of her saying something dumb and ruining the fragility of the moment. Luckily, Casey took the reigns on that one.   
"How...like, how's your mom?" She asked, still looking straight ahead, and Izzie could feel Casey's nerves through her steadily warming hand. Izzie bit her lip.   
"She's fine," Izzie said, her voice quiet and undaring. She could hear Casey take a deep breath and watched as she tried to let it out inconspicuously and without shaking. Izzie couldn't stand this. They both knew something was going to happen, it had to, they wanted it to. But not knowing how long it would take for one of them to build up the courage to be bold was making everything worse. She could almost taste the desperation on her tongue.   
"Cool. That's cool," Casey said with that unsure head bob she does whenever she's trying to play it cool. Izzie had teased her for it countless times before, but now she couldn't think of a single joke. She was just endeared by it.   
"Yeah," Izzie replied, not knowing what she was agreeing with or what they were talking about anymore, and turning her head slightly so she was able to make out the entirety of Casey's side profile. Izzie squeezed the girl's hand, in disbelief that she was still close to her, and watched as Casey's cheeks flushed pink. Yeah, there wasn't much that was more pleasing than this. "Hey, Newton?"  
"Y-yeah?" Casey fell over her words, a far cry from the determined and confident athlete she was on the track. Izzie swallowed her teasing smile. She could see Casey glancing at the reflection in the car window as a way of looking at Izzie yet not having to actually look her way.   
"Can you look at me for a sec?" Izzie said, still quiet as to not stir the rational, morally-sound version of Casey she had witnessed and feared in this situation. She watched Casey swallow and then turn ever so slightly towards her, her big brown eyes trying to find something to land on that wouldn't make her flustered to high heaven.   
"Case." Izzie kept her eyes on the girl, and waited for her to muster enough courage to match her gaze. Her heart thumped harder and harder. Casey finally looked up.   
It wasn't silent like in the movies where the boy finally gets the girl. She could hear the rhythmic thumps of her heart against her ribcage and the voice in her head which she'd been trying to ignore for the past few weeks surfacing again, resuming its job of telling her how much she wanted this.  
The steetlamps outside basked everything in a warm orange glow, with shadows casting across both their faces and making it all look dark and serious. Their hands were still carefully intertwined between them, and their eyes were now locked on one another.   
"I'm nothing like my mom," was all Casey dared to say before leaning forward and grazing noses with Izzie. It was electric and dangerous, but it was right. Izzie hadn't felt anything like it before, and they were barely touching at this point. Their eyes both instictively closed, as Izzie ever so gently rested her forehead against Casey's in a familiar yet completely thrilling way.   
Izzie couldn't stand it any longer and leaned in closer, the sound of Casey's shallow breathing letting her know the other girl was doing the same. And then, finally and almost desperately, their lips met. It was quiet and gentle and much too addictive, but Izzie couldn't believe that it was finally happening. She let go of Casey's hand and brought both hands to Casey's cheeks, revelling in the softness of the skin and the fact that she was able to hold her this way. Casey leaned in further, tilting her head in a way that made Izzie's eyebrows raise in surprise, and both girls began to pick up the pace.   
They were enjoying this far too much. One of Casey's hands found its way to the nape of Izzie's neck and the other held onto to her wrist, as if ensuring that the girl was as close as possible.   
Without giving it much thought, Izzie moved her hands to Casey's shoulders and let one hand play with the fabric of her jacket. She knew it was dangerous, hell they hadn't even talked about what any of this meant for them, but she couldn't help herself. And Casey wasn't helping the situation, especially when she mumbled a hurried "it's okay" against Izzie's lips, only spurring her on.   
She dragged Casey's jacket slowly down her arms, breaking their kiss for the first time. She gulped, unable to make eye contact out of fear it would ruin the moment and Casey would remember that she had or a boyfriend, or that she got too caught up in the moment and didn't like Izzie as much as she hoped. Instead, she stayed focused on slinging the jacket in the back of the car somewhere and letting her eyes take in the girl in front of her.  
Izzie had seen Casey in a t-shirt so many times. She'd seen her in less than that in the locker rooms at school. But this, knowing that she had taken Casey's jacket off her after kissing her for what felt like hours, this was different and she couldn't stop the blush rising in her cheeks.   
"You okay?" Casey asked, her words delicate and sincere, ducking her head so she could meet eyes with Izzie.   
"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm good," Izzie said, flustered as she moved her hair over to one side and glanced up at Casey. The girl's lips were bright red and her cheeks were pink and Izzy swore she'd never seen something so beautiful. "Are you?"  
Casey nodded and with a small, mischievous smile, she reached for Izzie's hand again, linking their fingers in a way that was becoming a welcoming kind of familiar. "This is weird, right?" She asked, and Izzie let the question sit in the air, becoming bigger and bigger with each passing second she failed to reply.   
"It's...it's weird, yeah." Izzie's eyes flickered between their hands and her own reflection in the window. She almost didn't recognise the girl looking back at her who looked utterly free for the first time in her life. She hadn't felt this good in a long time. "I'm so happy I got you back."  
Casey let out a soft laugh, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind Izzie's ear and leaning forward to rest their foreheads together. "Me too."   
"Cool," Izzie said, mimicking Casey from earlier and trying suppress the smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "So, like, does this mean I get to come over and build forts with you whenever I want again?"   
Casey pulled back, shaking her head at the girl in disbelief and unable to hide her amusement. "Iz, you practically had your tongue down my throat two seconds ago and your biggest concern now is if we can still build blanket forts?"  
Izzie nodded seriously. "I like it."  
"Okay okay, fine. We can build forts till your cold, cold heart's content. Happy?"  
"Can we go build one now?" Izzie asked, relieved that the seriousness of their situation had dispersed and they were back to being playful and light.   
Casey rolled her eyes and checked the time on her phone, and she really wished she hadn't. Seeing two missed calls from Evan made her stomach twist and her heart sink. "Uh...I don't know..."  
"Hey," Izzie said, reaching for Casey's hand and hating the way she refused to look at her like before. "We can just stay here for a while instead if you want?"  
Casey sighed, not knowing what to do. She didn't want to hurt anyone, and least of all Evan. But the girl beside her meant a lot to her too, and the sinking feeling that crept into her bones at the thought of denying Izzie and making her return home to her useless mother began to outweigh any hesitancy about Evan.   
Casey turned the ignition on her car and put on her seatbelt, waiting for to Izzie to stop looking at her like a nervous puppy and do the same. "We can't waste the night sitting out here and being weird," Casey began. "When we could be building the biggest architectural feat of blankets and pillows the world has ever seen!" Casey yelled freely, trying with all her might to swallow all the negative thoughts creeping up inside her and enjoy herself. Because God knows everything was about to change all over again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night continues and things only get weirder and more complicated for Casey and Izzie, with Hello Kitty proving to be the best wing...woman? wing...cat? of them all.

“This isn’t funny anymore, Casey. I’m serious,” Izzie whined from the passenger seat and Casey continued to squint at the road ahead. It was getting later and the world outside wasn’t getting any lighter any time soon, and Casey was pissed.  
“I’m not doing it on purpose!” She said, slightly annoyed until she looked over to Izzie and instantly felt her anger melt away, her frown replaced with an amused smile. “I told you not to get a large one,” she said, making Izzie roll her eyes.  
“I know, you told me so okay? But that doesn’t change the fact that my bladder is tiny and you got us lost,” Izzie said as a matter-of-factly, trying to keep her squirming to a minimum.  
“We’re not lost, I’ve just never driven in the part of town in the dark before,” Casey said, continuing to drive down the eerily empty road.  
“Dude, we literally drove here in the dark, what are you talking about?”  
“Ugh, just let me be in denial about my awful sense of direction for a bit longer?”  
“Fine, but you better find a goddamn bathroom within the next three minutes, Dora the Explorer.”  
*  
It wasn’t long before Casey pulled into a gas station and Izzie jumped from the still (although barely) moving car and ran inside the store. Casey shook her head, but she couldn’t shake off the smile gracing her lips. The night was turning out to be one of the most eventful yet easy-going nights Casey had had in a long while. She couldn’t help but hope that, as awful as it sounded, Izzie’s mom hadn’t decided to finally get her shit together and get her kids back because God did she love having Izzie around so much.  
Casey parked the car by the entrance of the store and followed Izzie’s route inside. She didn’t realise places like this existed, really. She’d only seen these kinds of gross-looking deserted gas stations in movies where criminals were on the run or something, certainly never in real life.  
“You ready?” Casey asked as Izzie emerged from a small wooden door at the back of the store with disgust etched all over her face as she shook her hands dry.  
“Oh I don’t even wanna talk about what when on in there,” Izzie said, heading out of the store and hopping back into the passenger side of the car. Casey laughed as she got in the vehicle and turned the ignition.  
“That bad, huh?” She asked, turning the key again.  
“I don’t think I’ve ever been somewhere with more roaches than floorboards, so yep. It was ‘that bad’,” Izzie replied.  
“Uh, I think we might have to hang out her a little longer,” Casey said, and Izzie gave her a threatening look.  
“Please don’t tell me the car won’t start…”  
“Okay then…the vehicle we’re currently riding in seems as though it will not commence,” Casey said in the poshest accent she could muster in order to lighten the situation. Izzie sighed loudly.  
“Well shit.”  
*  
After Casey called her dad, whose shift at work wasn’t due to end for another hour, and then called the insurance company who sent out a tow truck which also wasn’t due to arrive for at least an hour, Izzie got restless.  
“Okay that’s it. I’ll be right back,” she said determinedly, and Casey watched the girl muster all her courage in a deep breath and left to car to conquer the store once more. She could barely make out the top of Izzie’s head through the front window as the girl bobbed up and down the fluorescently-lit aisles, clearly in a hurry to get out of there by the way her head would disappear from one place and reappear a few aisles away in an instant.  
Casey kept watching, amused by the girl’s antics, and tried not to think about anything else. Her phone, which was tucked away in her jean pocket, felt hot against her thigh as the thought of replying to Evan taunted her again, but she couldn’t do it. She didn’t want to say anything without talking things through with Izzie first, and clearly neither of them was ready to do that, so she would just have to ignore Evan until they were ready. Which, of course, felt like the shittiest thing in the world to Casey, maybe on par with the fact that she kissed someone else whilst being in a relationship just like her mother did… And there it was. The guilt. She had hoped to keep it at bay for a little longer, but she could feel it in the beads of sweat on her palms, and in the rhythmic thump of her heart in her throat. She swallowed, hoping to push everything down somewhere deep and unreachable, but there was still a bitter taste in her mouth no matter how many times she swallowed, and it wasn’t from the cotton candy slurpee this time.  
“Oh my god I almost died in there, that old guy at the counter was such a creep I swear he’s still watching me!” Izzie’s loud and vibrant voice re-entering the car managed to snap Casey out of her internal panic for a moment, and the girl gave Izzie a weak scoff.  
“Ew, gross.”  
Izzie titled her head, noting that Casey was a lot paler and fidgety than she was when she left her.  
“Is everything alright?” Izzie asked, dialling her volume down to a softer, gentler tone.  
“Sure, why wouldn’t it be?” Casey shrugged. “What did you get in there anyway?”  
Izzie was quickly distracted by Casey’s question, the excitement of being able to reveal her treasures to her best friend surpassing any desire to dwell in uncomfortable feelings, and she began unpacking her things.  
*  
“And you’re positive I’m gonna look tough with this?” Casey asked, her head resting on Izzie’s lap as the girl patted her neck.  
“Hell yeah,” was all Izzie replied as she leaned over and slowly peeled the sticker from Casey’s neck, her light breaths travelling down Casey’s spine as she got closer. “It looks badass,” Izzie said, reaching for her phone and snapping a picture of her masterpiece and leaning forward to show Casey the picture.  
“You’re right. Hello Kitty is such a gangster icon,” Casey said, and Izzie let out an unashamed laugh, burying her nose into Casey’s neck and trying not to touch the temporary tattoo that now resided just behind the girl’s ear.  
“You’re an idiot,” Izzie mumbled into the girl’s hair, her lips almost touching Casey’s neck. She closed her eyes and leaned forward slightly, revelling in the way her lips felt against the smooth skin of Casey’s neck. And then, without much thought, she pressed her lips faintly to the skin, leaving the ghost of a kiss there. Casey gulped and Izzie hadn’t felt prouder than when she’d felt Casey’s neck tense beneath her lips in an attempt to hide the reaction. “Always keepin’ it cool, huh Newton?”  
Casey let out a shaky breath before regaining her senses and moving out from under Izzie’s face and sitting up. There it was again, that same feeling from earlier, back when all that littered Casey’s car was Izzie’s slurpee and not the twelve temporary tattoos, three redbulls, two chocolate bars and windup torch Izzie had purchased from the gas station and decided were ‘survival essentials’. Casey hadn’t felt anything like it before and could only liken it to feeling completely and irresponsibly invincible.  
She looked over at Izzie, taking in the girl’s unsure disposition; the way her eyes couldn’t choose something to focus on for too long, the way her hair was being moved over to one side and tucked behind her ear and then untucked more times than was necessary, the way her lips were curved slightly upwards at the corner as she remained quiet.  
“So, does this mean I’m too cool to hang out with you now? I need to go and find a gang somewhere to join, right?” Casey asked, offering a playful smile to the girl who matched it with one mixed with relief.  
“In your dreams! You get one glitter tattoo and think you can rule the world,” Izzie says, shaking her head with her eyes now fixed on Casey’s new addition. “Besides, it’s too pretty for the mob life,” Izzie said nonchalantly, reaching over and gently tracing the outline of it over and over.  
“Oh, I see, so Hello Kitty’s too pretty for the mob life but I’m not?” Casey said, moving her head as she squared up to the girl. Izzie moved her hand down and found solace at the baby hairs on the back of Casey’s neck.  
“We can’t all be as flawless as the big HK now, can we?” Izzie didn’t know when they had both gotten closer, but their faces were mere inches apart.  
“You’re so mean,” Casey said before giving up on the trivialness of acting coy and leaning in to close the gap between their lips.  
It was just as shocking and electric as the first time, and Casey still couldn’t quite believe that this was a thing they did now, but she wasn’t as nervous as the first time. That much was clear when Casey decided to take the lead and hold Izzie’s face in her palms, stroking her cheeks and jaw gently as she slowed their desperate pace down. Izzie raised her eyebrows and let out a surprised “huh” at the new development, and not missing the way Casey smiled at the sound. Their lips were timid and cautious against each other as they worked out an easy rhythm, and soon both girls were a mess of a tongues and lips, and occasionally bashful laughter at the reality of what they were doing would interrupt them, but unlike before, they didn’t have a desire to stop. In that moment they both knew what they wanted, and they were both holding onto it tightly with both hands. That was until three hard knocks on the car window instantly forced them apart, shattering any hopes either of them had about their lives being any kind of easier or better now. They recognised the person standing outside immediately, and the confusion swimming in their eyes only made the girls’ hearts sink even more. There was certainly no way of getting out of this one, no matter how much they both wanted to out their talents to good use and run as fast and far as they could. This wasn’t something that they could ignore.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey and Izzie begin to navigate their way through weird feelings and weirder thoughts. A lil' angsty and a lil' cute.

Casey hadn’t opened her eyes for three minutes, Izzie had counted. She had tried to coax her into opening them, telling her that she was being murdered or that the guy from the gas station was running naked through the store, but aside from a forced few laughs, Casey refused to open her eyes. Izzie sighed, looking over where Casey’s head rested on her steering wheel, and to the car parked beside theirs. She couldn’t see into the vehicle but could feel the desperation of wanting to know what was going on burning into the car, making Izzie’s face flush red as she remembered why.  
“There are worse people it could have been,” Izzie said, gulping as she waited for any sign of acknowledgement from Casey. Nothing. “Dude,” Izzie tried again, poking Casey’s side with a cautionary finger. The girl moved out of her reach. “Fine, be weird. But I kinda wanna sleep at some point tonight and we’re not getting anywhere sitting here,” Izzie finished, the weight of her words reigning true in more ways than one. They really weren’t getting anywhere and as much as Izzie sympathised with what Casey must be thinking, she couldn’t keep trying to help someone who clearly wanted nothing to do with her.  
Izzie got out of the car quietly, shutting the door and leaning against it in a moment of exhaustion, her bones heavy and heart matching. There were too many things to think about, and out of all the rejection scenarios she had spent the past few months playing out in her mind, she had never anticipated it happening mid-kiss.  
“Honey, are you okay?”  
“Shit!” Izzie said, bringing a hand to her forehead and letting out a sigh of relief. “Sorry Mrs Gardner, I didn’t hear you coming.” The awkwardness of the silence made Izzie’s palms itch. She tucked her hair behind her ears.  
“No, its okay. Doug always used to say I was like a mouse creeping around the house and waiting to scare him. Of course, Casey took that one and ran with it, saying that she thought ‘rat’ was a much better fit for me but that’s our Casey…oh God, how is she? She wont talk to me as it is and now I’ve gone and blown it all up she probably hates me I-“  
“Elsa, no. I thinks it’s actually the opposite.” Izzie said, unable to look Casey’s mom in the eye knowing that she had just seen her making out with her daughter. God.  
“What do you mean? I really wouldn’t have knocked on the window if I’d have known, y’know. I really didn’t see you guys doing anything until it was too late, but I won’t say anything, of course,” Elsa rambled, and Izzie felt sick at the thought of everything that was happening. Maybe she hadn’t realised quite how huge this was, maybe Casey was onto something with choosing to be blind forever. It made sense, especially after seeing the way Elsa’s stare was so piercing and uncomfortable, no amount of telling herself that she wasn’t making a judgement could change the way it felt to be looked at like that.  
“Ok let’s go Elsa,” the surprising appearance of Casey’s voice made Izzie’s heart flutter in a way she wasn’t sure was healthy, and she watched as the girl got into the passenger side of Elsa’s car. She felt a hand squeeze hers in a quick but comforting reassurance.  
“She gets weird when she’s stressed, just give it a little time sweetheart,” Elsa said, and Izzie nodded, not knowing what else to do as she followed the woman and got into the back of the car. She sat behind Casey, noting the way the girl struggled to look at her but attempted a small smile all the same. Izzie mirrored her, trying to ignore the way her heart ached at the lopsided Hello Kitty frozen mid-wave on the girl’s neck. Fucking cat.  
**

“Hey Izzie?”  
Izzie frowned, easing herself to an upright position as she yawned, making out Casey’s silhouette in standing at the foot of the stairs. She watched the girl hesitate and gulped in an attempt to ready herself for whatever this midnight meeting would bring.  
“’Sup Newton?” Izzie said, and patted the space next to her on the sofa, clearly needing to be the one to force Casey to move. This was all so weird.  
Casey shuffled over, barely looking at the girl and slumped down on the sofa, a fair distance away from the girl who was the reason for the sweat on her palms and pounding in her chest. She pulled her legs up and sat cross-legged facing the girl. “Ew the sofa’s so warm, you maniac,” Casey said as she pulled one of the blankets off of Izzie and over herself. Izzie pouted.  
“Hey, I can’t help it. My body’s not used to being somewhere with a working heater,” Izzie said, pulling her own blankets closer to her and hugging them like a child. Casey sighed softly, giving her a small smile.  
“I’m sorry,” She began, not missing the way Izzie’s eyes instantly locked onto hers, big and attentive and heartbreakingly hopeful. “I was a dick earlier, and it wasn’t fair on you for me to suddenly be like that.”  
“Hey,” Izzie said, tilting her head with a small yet smug smile as she saw all the tension that was beginning to rise in Casey’s body melt away with her word. Yeah, Izzie loved that she could do that. “It’s really okay. Wasn’t so long ago that I was being the complete asshole and ignoring you for no reason. Difference is you’re good enough to fix it right away,” Izzie said with a shrug, and Casey looked up at her, shrugging too.  
“Guess we’re both just giant messes, huh?”  
“Speak for yourself,” Izzie laughed, pushing Casey and moving along the sofa so they were now sitting side by side, neither of them daring to look at the other. Casey leaned into Izzie’s shoulder, unable to escape the intoxicating feeling of being near the girl she adored.  
“I don’t know what to do, Iz,” Casey finally said, her voice small and honest enough to shatter Izzie’s heart. “I don’t want to hurt anyone. And I know Elsa said we should do what feels right, but dude she cheated on my dad and I just did the same to Evan and now-“  
“You’re not the same, Casey. I promise you that,” Izzie said firmly, letting out a long breath as she collected all the thoughts and feelings she had been carrying around with her and slowly let them pour out of her. “You’re incredible,” she began, resorting to resting her head on the girl’s shoulder so she wouldn’t have to look at her as she continued. “You’re the smartest, most driven and thoughtlessly kind person I’ve ever met. And I’m so grateful I get to even call you my friend let alone anything…anything more.”  
“Izzie…”  
“I’m not done,” the girl said, licking her lips and beginning to play with the string of the freying friendship bracelet that matched the one on her own wrist. It was courtesy of an impromptu girls’ night Casey had planned when Izzie’s mom had kicked her out in a drunken rage, and they’d discovered that braiding the bracelets meant for eight-year olds had worked wonders in calming Izzie down. The girl couldn’t get over the fact that someone like Casey existed. “We don’t have to do anything about it. I can love you the same as always and we can still be friends and you can keep having the easy life you deserve, because you really do deserve to be happy, Newton. And I promise I won’t ever be the one to take that away from you again.”  
They sat in the calmness of the moment for a little while, and Casey swore she could feel the air flexing around them in time with their breathing. It was peaceful.  
“What would happen if I said I don’t think my life was ever destined to be easy?” Casey said, watching Izzie’s face for any sign of miscommunication as she turned her hand over slowly and felt Izzie’s fingers trace small patterns on her palm. “I don’t think easy ever works out for me.”  
“I just want you to be happy, Case,” Izzie said, interlinking her fingers with the girl’s and lifting her head from her shoulder to look her in the eyes. They had found themselves in the dark again and the thought made the corners of Izzie’s mouth lift in amusement. It was so dramatic of them to be consistently in the dark and in their feelings. “I don’t want to make your life harder.”  
“You could never,” Casey was quick to retort. “You make it different. Exciting.”  
“Promise me something?”  
Casey nodded, and Izzie leaned in to bring their foreheads together in their familiar way. There was something about the way Casey looked at Izzie like she had put the stars in the sky and then named them all after her that made Izzie want to burst. It was unmatched. “Promise me that if we do this, if we choose us, that you won’t let it hurt us? Because I can live without having you as more than a friend, and yeah, it’ll suck, but living without you at all? I can’t even begin to think about it, okay? And I know I’ve hurt you before and I will never stop proving to you that I’ve changed but- “  
Casey couldn’t stand to hear any more of Izzie’s regret or guilt, and before her brain had even formulated a solution, her hands had cupped Izzie’s cheeks and pulled her impossibly close and their lips were meeting again in a way they couldn’t ever give up. They just couldn’t.  
“You’re crazy,” Izzie said when they both pulled away and her cheeks had turned pink from the realisation that things just might be okay after all. Casey chuckled, reaching over to tuck Izzie’s hair behind her ear. She shrugged arrogantly.  
“What can I say, I’m a lady-killer.”  
“Okay ew gross! Don’t ever say that again or I’m disowning you,” Izzie threatened, adding a shiver of disgust for good measure.  
“Okay fine,” Casey said, raising her hands in surrender. Izzie shook her head in amusement. “We’re gonna be okay, right?”  
Izzie smiled softly, opening her arms wide and revelling in the way Casey beamed as she body slammed somewhat-gently into Izzie and nestled her head in her chest. “Yeah, Newton,” she said, running her hand through Casey’s hair and holding her tighter. “We’re gonna be great.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i'm aware that this is probably not worth the wait and much too long and i had envisioned a more angsty and toxic Cazzie originally but since finishing S3, i really didn't wanna put our gals through any more hardships. also wasn't the biggest fan of how they wrote Izzie's character this season and wanted to do my bby justice so expect wholesome, untoxic Izzie content in the next few chapters. thanks for reading anyway!! it means a lot


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey and Izzie try to be chill around each other. And fail miserably.

“We shouldn’t have kissed.”  
Casey was quiet as she walked alongside Izzie, their shoulders brushing every so often as they went. She watched their feet, perfectly in time like they were rehearsing for a victory march. She waited for Izzie to speak again, not wanting to disrupt the importance of their conversation. “I feel so shitty about it. About Evan. We should have waited until after,” the girl continued, her voice low but confident, as if she had long-thought over the whirlwind of last night.   
“I know,” Casey agreed simply, not wanting to think too hard about it out of fear she would begin to crack under the realisation of what had happened. “But I’m the one in a relationship, I should’ve stopped it but I didn’t.”  
“Yeah but I knew you had a boyfriend the whole time and that didn’t stop me at all,” Izzie said, stopping once they reached the bus stop and turning to face Casey, her words becoming rushed and emotional. “What sort of best friend does that? And now you’ve got more mess on top of the mess we already made, and I hate that I can’t do anything about it without making it worse,” Izzie said, pouting as reached for Casey’s hand and gave it a quick but gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry it got this complicated, Newton.”   
Casey sighed slightly and gave the girl a shrug, playing off the seriousness of the conversation with a smirk and sarcastic comment. “It’s cool. I must just be irresistible, right?” Her words were forced, and Izzie could tell.   
“Case…”  
“It’s fine. I’m gonna talk to Evan tonight and tell him, don’t worry about it. It wasn’t your fault.”  
The bus pulled up, and Casey welcomed the distraction, taking Izzie’s hand and dragging her to the back of the vehicle. She didn’t let go of the girl’s hand even when they sat down, and Izzie was grateful that things didn’t look like they were going backwards like shed always feared after she told Casey how she felt. She ran her thumb along the back of Casey’s hand for the entirety of the bus ride, and as much as they were dreading the outcome of the day, they couldn’t deny how good it felt to just exist together.   
**  
“Is Izzie staying over tonight?” Sam asked as he walked into Casey’s room, holding a familiar looking storage container in his hands. Casey frowned.  
“What are you doing with the Shackletons?” Casey asked, sitting up on her bed and wiping her eyes. Hopefully Sam would be his usual oblivious self and not notice how red and wet they were.   
“You said Izzie’s mom isn’t great and she has younger siblings, right? I’m downsizing on my collection of stuffed animals and the Shackletons don’t make the cut. I figured Izzie could take them home for her siblings and that way they’re with someone I trust.”  
“Uh sure? I mean I’m sure Izzie would appreciate that, I’ll make sure she gets them,” Casey said, letting out a laugh in astonishment as Sam simply nodded and put the container down on her dresser and went back to his room. And just like that he was being replaced with a knock on her open door and the sight of the girl she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about for longer than shed like to admit.   
“Rise and shine,” Izzie said in a sing-song voice, relieved when Casey laughed at her antics and scooted over on her bed, patting the space next to her. Izzie smiled softly and bounded over to her like a hapless puppy, crawling up to Casey and linking their arms. She shuffled into the bed, resting her head on the girl’s shoulder. “How was it?”  
“Awful. And it was worse that he was understanding about everything and didn’t even yell. Not that I expected anything less from the nicest guy I’ve ever met,” Casey sighed, her voice cracking on the last words and she gulped in an attempt to swallow her tears. She slumped back and tilted her head so it rest atop Izzie’s. “And I’m sure my heart actually wants to kill me because it cant settle on what to feel and I know I’m heartbroken and it’s probably gonna backfire on me soon enough but fuck as soon as you’re here everything feels normal and nice again.”  
Izzie nestled her head into Casey’s arm and linked their fingers, bringing their hands to her mouth and placing a gentle kiss on the back of Casey’s hand. “If…if you need me to give you some space to feel everything properly, I can do that. I get it, y’know,” she said sincerely, her lips ghosting the soft skin on Casey’s hand making the girl next to her shiver slightly.   
“No, I’m good. I promise I’ll tell you if I do need space, though.” Casey squeezed Izzie’s hand in gratitude and let out a long and weighted breath. Things were definitely far from perfect but she felt pretty calm about it all, surprisingly. It helped that when she’d told Evan that she’d been at war with herself and had even kissed someone else he’d agreed that things hadn’t felt completely right for a while and that he had also been questioning if they wanted the same things anymore. Of course, he got understandably disappointed that his girlfriend hadn’t waited before kissing someone else, but as breakups go, Casey knew she’d gotten off lightly.   
“What’s with the penguins?” Izzie asked, breaking Casey away from her thoughts and making her smile at the thought of her brother.   
“They’re for you, actually. Well, your brother and sisters. Sam had a clear out and wanted to give them to someone he trusts,” Casey shrugged, and Izzie looked up at the girl.  
“Seriously? He said that?” Izzie asked, and let out a small ‘aw’ when Casey nodded. “Why are there so many of them though?”  
Casey laughed at the memory. “So, Sam first got into all this Antarctica stuff when we went to the aquarium for my birthday, actually. Some guy was giving a talk on the expeditions of the past and Sam was like, obsessed. Y’know how he gets. And there was this one expedition led by a guy named Ernest Shackleton or whatever and there was some big disaster and long story short, the crew survived and all 28 of them made it back alive. And then Sam got obsessed with penguins at the same time and it sorta became a game for him to collect a stuffed penguin every time we went to the aquarium or he did something that made Elsa wanna piss her pants from excitement. And eventually he got all 28, enough to complete the Shackletons.”  
“Woah.” Izzie said, looking at the mass of penguins squished up against each other in the container. “And he wants to give them away? To me?”  
“Yeah, he seemed pretty certain.” Casey said, before smirking at the girl in a way that was all too familiar to the both of them. “You must have some weird effect on us Gardners which makes you weirdly irresistible to us,” Casey said, playfully nudging the girl and feeling all sorts of proud when Izzie shook her head in embarrassment and hid behind her hair.   
“I hate you,” she said, letting out a small giggle and faceplanting the bed so as to not let Casey see how red her cheeks were.   
“I know,” Casey beamed, reaching over to poke at the Izzie’s side, spurred on by the muffled laughter coming from her. She moved closer, then straddled the girl’s lower back and began her assault.  
“Stop! Oh my god stop Casey!” Izzie said between loud, high-pitched squeals. The girl managed to flip herself over so Casey was now hovering above her waist, and she managed to wrestle away the girls arms, holding them far away from her.   
“Oh, is someone trying to play the tough guy now?” Casey said, letting the girl hold her hands and revelling in the power she had over her. This sure was a far cry from the crying and empty feeling she had experienced not even an hour ago. She felt euphoric.   
“It’s who I am,” Izzie smirked back, her eyebrows challenging the girl above her. She licked her lips absentmindedly.  
“Interesting,” was all Casey said before suddenly leaning down and staring Izzie right in the eyes, their noses touching and lips barely a centimetre apart. She felt the girl’s breathing quicken and she let go of her hands. “Not so tough now, are ya?”   
“You’re the worst,” was all Izzie managed to say before leaning up to kiss the girl that had been driving her crazier than she dared to admit. She could feel Casey smile into the kiss, all teeth and satisfied noises and Izzie couldn’t help but smile back as she brought her hands up to the girl’s face, letting her thumbs run over the smoothness of her cheeks.   
Casey sighed contently, kissing the girl back in a way that was much too eager; she was unable to control herself around the girl apparently. And as she began to deepen the kiss and ever so slightly nip at Izzie’s bottom lip with her teeth, it was clear that however hard it may have been, she made the right choice. Being with Izzie felt overwhelmingly good.   
“I still can’t believe this is happening,” Izzie said once they’d managed to pry their mouths apart. Casey let out a soft laugh as she sat back and pulled Izzie up to join her. They were close, legs touching and shoulders grazing and fingers intertwining subconsciously between them.   
“Me either. I can’t believe that I get to make out with the most popular girl at Clayton Prep, it’s a dream come true,” Casey said, wiping fake tears from her eyes and smiling goofily at the girl in front of her.   
“God, do you ever get tired of being an obnoxious little shit?” Izzie laughed, enjoying the glint in Casey’s eyes that always meant mischief. The girl shook her head animatedly.   
“Nope! If I were you, I’d have killed me a looooong time ago.”  
“Oh, there’s still time,” Izzie said, and as the girls settled into the easiness of being together so freely and without much to be afraid of, their lives were finally beginning to feel like their own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i debated making this chapter the final one, but the cazzie shipper in me wouldn't let me without leaving it on a super cute, super real note, so that being said, the next chapter will be the last. and i'm still in shock that my unmotivated self managed to update twice in a week, but as soon as this fic is over, expect random one shots from all of your fav g/g pairings because that's kinda my thing.   
anyway, thanks a bunch for reading, only one more chapter to go!! yay 
> 
> <3 M.


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